look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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