i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
