he wants to bone in the snuggie
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
