Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
