then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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