I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
