When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
