How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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