Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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