Got a toothbrush?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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