we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
