Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize