she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
