I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
