either way he was missing a nipple.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
