But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
