i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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