if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
