I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
