just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
