It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Someone came in the potted fern
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
