she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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