I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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