So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
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he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
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Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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