This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
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He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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