what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
