I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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