Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
