it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Who died my cat blue again?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
