What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
