Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
