I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car