hotties wanna shake it
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located