so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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