it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
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First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.