Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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