We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
