We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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