Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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