I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
40s are totally the cure
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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