Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
