you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
