when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
