i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well I can't set my house on fire every night
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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