i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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