I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize