that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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