Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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