are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
