Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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