he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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