she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
