dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
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Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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