What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
