it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
