dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
