Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
But we have bathrooms and they dont
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
