just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
