You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you win again, gameday.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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