So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
