What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I will pee on everything he values.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
