I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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