and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Text me some of your sweat
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